Because he’s Batman, Jesus and the Easter Bunny all
rolled into your uncle who always wanted to wrestle a lot for some
reason, Terry Richardson just released outtakes from his GQ photo
shoot with Kate Upton which is all information that only people with a
vagina just read, so I should probably make this word stuff more
targeted to their demographic:
It was then that Christian took me into his office,
his eyes filled with a desire I knew all too well. Slowly, he reached
into his pants, and I knew he was about to give me exactly what I
wanted. A soft, supple yet firm wallet filled with money that I didn’t
have to earn.“Buy shoes,” he said. “Then, later, we’ll watch reality television and I’ll be interested in it because it means a lot to you which doesn’t make you a shallow person.”
Moments later, we got married in a castle and it was better than my friend Jenny’s wedding. She was so jealous. Ohmygod, did he just pull my pubes?
Fin.
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